Out to lunch with dad today.
Veggie burger I ordered very much not veggie.
The server was most apologetic, I was made another one and not charged, but the damage is done.
Ugh.
If I ever doubted my commitment to vegetarianism, this has cemented it for me.
After a year and a half of no meat, my body is basically screaming at my 'EWW!!! DO NOT WANT!!'
It's been hours and I'm still feeling funky and vaguely nauseous.
Next time my mother gets all pissy about having to 'cook something special because you're so picky' I'm going to go off on her big time.
Mock me all you want, woman, but a mouthful of lettuce never made me nearly ralph all over my shoes.
I'm gonna take that as a sign...
John F. Kerry is a Massachusetts senator, a D.C. VIP, a former presidential candidate and a man filled with wonkish knowledge on all sorts of topics. And while he never quite made it to the Oval Office, he gets to participate in an inauguration anyway — the inaugural edition of Answer This, POLITICO’s occasional series of interviews with leading, and would-be leading, political figures.
Q: Tell us your favorite joke.
A: On the advice of my attorney, my family and every member of my staff, I am no longer allowed to tell jokes.
Q: When’s the last time you used profanity?
A: Sh—, good question. Election Night 2004 comes to mind. Truth is, when I was a kid and my dad was stationed in Cold War Germany, even then the first foreign words I learned were swearwords, so I’m embarrassed to say I have deep roots in this area.
Q: How many hours of sleep do you get (on average)?
A: A lot less than when we were in the minority in the Senate. But usually I do well with five hours. I’m able to sleep anywhere. One of the benefits of running for president for two years is you really learn how to maximize time on buses, airplanes and motels.
Q: Describe your level of ambition.
A: I’ve mellowed over the years. Teresa helped me learn to appreciate the moment. I’ve never been happier in the Senate, and there’s something liberating about chairing the Foreign Relations Committee at this time in the world, with a big majority where we’re no longer just trying to stop bad things from happening. It’s a different kind of ambition. I’m in a hurry to get done the things that got me into politics in the first place but were out of reach in recent years here.
Q: You’re president of the United States for enough time to make only one executive decision. What is it?
A: Any opposing player who sacks, tackles, touches, breathes on or looks directly at Tom Brady is declared an enemy combatant.
Q: What’s a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we’ll look back on with regret?
A: Up until this November, it was voting Republican.
( More lulz under the cut. )
source
****
Not that I'm not very, very happy with our current President but where the hell was this snarky witty and down to earth guy in 2004? What's nexy John? Gonna go out and win a Nobel Prize?
Quick Survey:
Which is more inappropriate?
The post-Oscar watching crush it seems I have developed on Robert Downey Jr. or the post-Oscar watching crush I seemed to have developed on Dev Patel?
On the one hand, RDJ: that whole former drug addict thing, the general oddballness, and oh yeah, that one of the things I find most attractive about him is that he'd be first choice to play Rahm Emanuel if a biopic ever got greenlighted. I'm such a superficial whore. Like, I know I should be offended as a literary purist that he's going to be playing Sherlock Holmes (An AMERICAN! gasp!) and they're modernizing the story and making him all action hero, but then I see pictures like this:
And did I mention that Jude Law is going to be Dr. Watson? Homerotic subtext, you are rapidly becoming text.
On the other hand: DP--WHO IS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!! I'M CRUSHING ON AN INFANT!!!! I can't help it though. He's so adorkable and I lurved Slumdog Millionare and the way he looks at Freida Pinto, like she's the sun and moon and stars--goo, a puddle of squeeing goo, AND THEN THEY DID THE BOLLYWOOD DANCE NU
So, who wins?


Also, adorable Slumdog Millionare kids make me want to pull an Angelina and run off to Mumbai to adopt a million orphans.
Not only did I get the MOS I wanted, but I will actually be leaving a month earlier than originally planned.
I AM GOING TO BE A CRYPTO-LINGUIST IN TH
My ship date for Basic is March 30. I'll graduate around Memorial Day weekend.
AND THEN IT'S OFF TO THE DEFENSE LANGUAGE SCHOOL IN BE
Sorry for the capslock abuse, but this is kind of capslock worthy news considering that as of last week I was leaving in May without any definite plans re: MOS.
But my stars have aligned so perfectly and it's all I can do to keep from doing backflips.
A linguist gig pretty much guarantees an oversees posting.
I could spend the next four plus years stationed in England, Japan, Greece, or Italy.
Oh no, ending up on a base in Italy-right on the Po River. How ever will I stand it? I'm sure the breathtaking scenery must get soooo boring after awhile.
Sgt. Becks, you are a god among men. You said you'd make it happen for me and you totally, totally did.
I love you, I adore, I worship you.
So, my mother loves her cheesetastic, only shocking in 1935 pre-Code old movies.
Last night's fare was a film called Female.
It was, without any question, the most offensive, misogynistic load of horseshit I have ever seen.
The plot is thus:
Alison Drake is owner and successful manager of an automobile factory. She also has a good relations with her employees - especially the male ones, which she is known to invite to her bed for some time and then dump quickly. Then she meets Jim Thorne. Thorne doesn't treat her like 'Ms. Drake', he treats her like Alison, a pretty, sweet, delicate woman who must be taken care of. He even wants to marry her--a real marriage, with children and a home and all that stuff, not the glorified business offers all of her past many proposals have been. Alison of course refuses and he leaves her.
At this point, our heroine of course realizes that she's totally in love with Thorne and rushes off to beg his forgiveness. Never mind that doing so means she'll miss the hugely important meeting that is the only thing keeping her company from being bought out. Did I mention that this comes after the scene where upon learning of the company buy out, she locks herself in her office and cries like a baby? And that her assistant comforts her by saying "There, there. What's to be expected? What can you do? After all, you're only a woman."
Anyway, shocker to no one: Alison tracks Jim down, she basically throws herself at his feet, he takes her back, and he even manages to get them to the meeting on time to save the company. Which Alison then happily turns over to her dear husband as a wedding gift because she's decided that being the female Henry Ford is no fun anymore and that all she really wants to be is a wife and mother. The film ends with Alison telling Jim that she hopes they have 'At least' nine children.
Oh my GOD!!!
Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever heard? Thank heaven she saw the light and was saved from a life of sexual and financial independence!
I swear, this movie would have made Ernest Hemingway say "Whoa, step the fuck back."
It was like the ultimate in Focus on the Family spank bank material.
Ya know, if they did that sort of thing...
Sign found at intersection of Lamar and MLK Boulevard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vandalism, danger to public safety, immature prank, etc.
But...ZOMBIES!!!!
Tomorow at 10:00 a.m. I'll swear in for the delayed entry program. At that point I will be official government property and can be called up for boot whenever they want me. (And I'll have health insurance, thank god.)
It's so freaking insane. After bitching and moaning about how everything was taking so long, my recruiter calls me and basically said "The credit fuck up is all cleared. Be at my office in two hours and we'll get this thing done right now."
Well, okay then.
Wish me luck guys!
I feel totally fine, but fingers still crossed it doesn't turn out I have like, tuberculosis or something.
I get to spend the entire day sitting in my underwear surrounded by strangers in a freezing cold federal building.
Woohoo! Good times!
I had my qualifying physical scheduled for tomorrow, but now some total bullshit forty-eight dollar bill from the shitty college clinic I visited four fucking years ago has come back to bite me in the ass!
Because of this stupid freaking bill, my credit report red flagged me as delinquent and I had to postpone my physical until this is resolved.
Did I mention that the shitty college clinic was bought out two years ago by another hospital, so all their old records are hidden away somewhere in the fucking land of lost toys or some such fucking bullshit?
Fucking CMC Clinic, I fucking hate you with every fiber of my being.
It was one of those craptastic shithole clinics that was only an option when you had no other choice. They'd lose test results, make you wait for hours on end, double bill all the time, and everyone who came in was told that no matter what the symptom, they were probably pregnant.
I remember this visit. I had a respiratory infection that I'd diagnosed myself due to the fact that I get about three of them a year and know the symptoms. I dragged myself to the clinic, waited almost two hours, saw the PA for ten minutes and was told exactly what I already knew: I had a respiratory infection. I politely told her "No shit, Sherlock." took my prescription for sweet, sweet antibiotic relief and never darkened CMC's door again.
And now across the mists of space and time, they come back to screw me over again! And the worst part is I fucking paid that bill! This them just dicking around with me like they always did to everyone!
In other none rage inducing news, yesterday was my 24th birthday.
I received a new Ipod. It's pretty and shiny and bright UT orange and I loves it so.
I've named it Colt.
MadTV shows the truth behind the oh so manly pass time of watching football.
Two good buddies celebrating the hometown team by randomly making out.
Seriously, I've watched this thing a million times and it still remains one of the funniest (and hottest) things I've ever seen. These dudes totally commit to the skit. When one of them climbs the other like a jungle gym...guh. Sketch comedy isn't supposed to be this sexy.
It's a Football Thing
Includes this brilliant exchange:
"So, are we gay?"
"Maybe-maybe a little bit gay?"
"No! No. We're just two guys. Two guys watching the game who got a little excited and started to make out."
"Really? Cause that sounds kind of gay to me."
"So, we're gay. We're newly gay. Do you think--do you think we should go to...a--a gay bar?"
"I don't know. Do they let you in when you're new?"
I've done it.
Crossed the final freaky frontier of fandom.
I wrote Real Person Slash.
Not just any Real Person Slash. Presidential Real Person Slash.
( Rahm Emanuel, please don't kill me. )
The governor of Illinois has been federally indicted for attempting to sell President-Elect Obama's Senate seat. There is a ton of evidence against him as he told all and sundry about the scheme even knowing that his phone lines were being tapped and that he'd been under investigation for various other corruption charges for two years.
At one point he even hinted that he might appoint himself to the seat as a way to avoid indictment. Or use the money raised for selling the seat to fund his own presidential bid.
Dear lord. In the word's of Keith Olbermann: "Is he the dumbest SOB on the planet, or just the craziest?"
Read all about the juicy details here.
( And people wonder why I love politics... )
My medical file finally got the stamp of approval on Monday. So, basically after weeks on pins and needles they told me what I already knew: I don't have asthma anymore and will be able to make it through Basic Training without keeling over. Wow, I am so relieved I got an expert's opinion on the matter as that isn't exactly what I've been saying for months. Nice to know that thousand dollars I spent on my pulmonary function test wasn't all for naught.
Now after being in limbo everything is happening super duper, slightly mind bogglingly quickly.
I take the officer's exam tomorrow. They're putting me up in a hotel tonight as the test is administered at 5:00 a.m. Guess they want us to get used to performing well at ungodly hours.
Next week I'll have my physical and then after Christmas I'll drive down to San Antonio with my recruiter for my interview.
And I have to get a minimum of three recommendation letters by next week.
Sigh. It would have been great if someone had told me that sooner so that I could give a head's up to the letter writers. My professors are being mucho supportive, but they're all incredibly busy preparing for finals and helping other students with grad school applications. I feel all kinds of crappy springing this on them so suddenly.
To make it even more frustrating, my recruiter knew I'd need the recommendations, but he couldn't have me ask for them until everything was nice and official with the higher ups.
Yeah, because rushing at breakneck speed to meet deadlines always ends so well.
Guess I'm going to have to get used to the occasional *headdesk* moment. I've gathered it's kind of a hallmark of the military.
Progressive Circle Forming Around Obama
Key White House Positions Filled by Liberals
While liberal critics sound increasingly uneasy with President-elect Barack Obama’s nominations of centrist, Clinton-era Democrats to Cabinet positions, some are overlooking how Obama has also been assembling a tight progressive cadre to serve with him in the White House.
Progressive blogs are buzzing about Obama’s Cabinet picks, including big-name hires — and likely hires — such as Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.), Defense Sec. Robert Gates and New York Fed President Timothy Geithner, a protege of former Secretary Treasury Lawrence Summers under President Clinton, also an Obama economic adviser. To some irritated observers, these faces aren’t just a return to a previous time but an unwelcome move to the right of Obama’s campaign positions.
“I know everyone is obsessed with the ‘team of rivals’ idea right now, but I feel incredibly frustrated,” said
Chris Bowers, a progressive political consultant who blogs for Open Left. “It seems to me as though there is a team of rivals, except for the left, which is left off the team entirely.”
( My, these grapes are sour. )
I thought he was fantastic as Jim Gordon in the new Batman movies.
But after seeing these videos I want to sex him up soooooooooo bad.
Desperado

Undress Me Now
I love the fact that I didn't even know he was British until I looked him up on ImDb. I love the fact that he's apparently stopped giving a flying fuck that most movie studios and the Academy have no clue what to do with him. I love the fact that when he finally got sober he did Alcoholics Anonymous instead of some frou-frou rehab spa. I love the fact that he's open about working the steps. I love the fact that he's played such diverse roles as Sid Vicious, Sirius Black, and Beethoven.
I love, love, love that he said this:
Any actor who tells you that they have become the people they play, unless they're clearly diagnosed as a schizophrenic, is bullshitting you.
I really, love his hands and his mouth, and his bedroom eyes, and his rumpled professor look.


Well, crap.
Oklahoma leapfrogged U. of Texas
Sooo, the conference game is going to be between two teams that UT beat by double digits?
That is just the pickle on the crap sandwich, isn't it?
Swear to god, these idiots voting have the attention span of fruit flies w/ ADHD. The only thing they remember is the last game they watched.
And all the coaches and talking heads are being fucking morons. "Yeah, we understand there are some disappointed fans and it's a less than perfect system, but what can you do? Who could have seen a three way tie like this coming?"
Uh huh. Dudes, if your worst case scenario is three great teams being great at the same time, then you need a better way to do things.
All this and McCoy is likely also out of the Heisman running. Why is it the moment I start to care about college ball again, everyone goes retarded?
And they win by twenty points.
This is what happens when I try to be all strategic and shit.
Now it's up to computers and poll voters.
Good news at least that Tech is definitely out of the running.
Argh.
The Bears were ahead at half time.
Graham Harrell was injured and Mike Crabtree got carted off the field.
The two best players out of commission and Baylor still managed to wiffle the ball.
What the fuck, Waco?
The one time you would have been any use to me.
Now Oklahoma has to win. This both sucks and blows. Tech has no right to be #1. OU beat them and Texas beat OU. And Tech didn't beat UT. UT lost to Tech. And I promise you, that is a difference.


